I never understood it when a female starts dating a new guy, and they happen to kick it off really well she just drops her friends. When I say drop, I mean canceling on them last minute, or not calling/texting back, or forgetting about your weekly meet ups to indulge in ratchet tv and drink wine. All of a sudden your memory is shot! ***side eye*** You can’t pull these stunts on your homegirls.. Remember they know you well, maybe a little better than you know yourself. The first thing that you need to realize when you find a guy and you have friends is that it is very possible to have balance. It’s possible to be a girlfriend and still be a good friend. There’s more than enough of you to share where no one can get jealous or feel like they’ve been forgotten. What were you doing before you hooked up with this person?? I am not a relationship expert, I repeat I AM NOT A RELATIONSHIP EXPERT but I’d like to think that I know what I’m talking about especially since I’ve been in a relationship for some time now. Your relationships you build are very important and are also a reflection of you as a person. If you drop something/someone as soon as something new comes around, what does that say about you?? And how bad would it be if you lost your spectacular relationship because of negligence. These four things have helped me maintain my balance:
- Bring your man around your friends. They already both have one thing in common and that is you. Have get togethers and plan outings where you get to spend time with everybody. And plus your friends would probably be a good judge of character. Kill two birds with one stone.
- Try not to break your routines too often. You don’t know if you and this guy are gonna last more than a couple of months, and even if you do, that says a lot about your character. Remember you are still getting to know this person, you’ve known your friends for a while, if you and this guy don’t work out, your friends will still be there, but you’d put a bad taste in their mouth.
- Don’t start acting brand new. You know what I’m talking about. That extra shit, walking around with that chick called “Chip” on your shoulder. My Guyanese mother would call it “smelling yourself” LOL!
- You need space!!!!!! It’s very easy to get wrapped up in your man. His fave place is now yours. Me became “we”. Everything he likes, you suddenly love.. I get it! But you need breathing room, time apart is great. It’s advised.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you can’t sleep in late on a Sunday with your new beau, or that you have to keep your phone on loud cause if you miss a phone call you’re a bad friend. I’m just saying balance is possible and it’s also important. Keep building that relationship with your homegirls, it’s still important to let them know you appreciate them. And plus don’t forget they come in clutch when you need to shit talk and complain about all the shit he does to annoy you.
D. Wil xoxo